Archive for December, 2012

Today, I’m going to take a small break from lecturing you all on things I’m terribly wrong about. You see, today is a special day. What day is it, you may ask? It is the day I get the worst haircut ever. Incidentally, it was also my fastest haircut ever.

Let me give you some background as to why this is my worst haircut ever. I don’t know how things are in North and South America or Antarctica or Australia or Africa (since those are the only continents I haven’t had a haircut in), but in Europe and Asia, women giving men haircuts leads to disaster. Oh, the feminine touch? More like rabid feline touch, if you ask me. Women know how to handle the rabid feline touch. In fact, it’s a matter of pride if you can withstand the onslaught of a cat attacking your hair with a lawn mower among ’em. Especially if you talk the entire time.

But we men – most of us, at least – have shorter hair than the average woman. So, when a woman cuts our hair – who is used to cutting the hair of her compatriots – it leads to the WORST experience ever. They tug and pull at your hair, expecting fifty cubic meters of it to pop out of your brain. But no. It does not. Unless you’re some government experiment. In which case, what other cool stuff can you do?

This was the fastest haircut I’ve ever had the displeasure of having, as well. I know a lot of you are actually glad about that. Yeah. Faster haircut means I can go watch Tv. But no. You see. Haircuts are supposed to be slow so you don’t get injured or the barber doesn’t end up making mistakes. They’re the right way.

The woman  – who shan’t be named because I do not know it – popped two of my pimples. I’m bleeding right now. Well. No. I bled a bit, but it’s stopped. My fellow gents, get your haircuts by other men. Trust me. You can say, “But I want the touch of a woman,” right now, yet I wonder how you’ll be after getting a haircut from the barber I had to go through.

To the people in North and South America, Africa, Australia, and to the Ewoks and penguins and AT-AT’s in Antarctica, how are your experiences when getting a haircut from women? Seriously. I want to know.




Ha. I’m only messing with you. This is not an ancient movie at all. Why? Because it’s timeless. For me, it’s absolutely amazing. There are few movies that hail from the 30’s, 40’s, 50’s, or 60’s, or even the 70’s that I can say that for. This is one of those movies. Dr. Strangelove or How I Stopped Worrying and Love the Bomb is my favorite comedy film.

I watched this yesterday, with three other movies. One of the three other movies was Dredd. I’ll write a review on the two others. Considering the strange timing of my reviews, I’m going to compare the two movies. How, you may ask? By comparing the stuff I’ve heard about each of them. Dredd, I’d heard, had riveting action, a great plot, and a fantastic and awesome main character. The riveting action was certainly true, but the plot was average, and the main character was average. It did not live up to the expectations, but I hope it does well at the Box Office. I really do.

Maybe its payout will improve in Home Media.

I heard Dr. Strangelove was the 24th Greatest Comedy Film ever. Do you know how much of a buildup that is? This may come off as a surprise to you, but I love comedy films. I love them whether they’re like Grown Ups, which features some outrageous happenings, or like Death At a Funeral which can be construed as having too much slapstick (but still funny) or like Johnny English which is like… Well, it’s amazing. I can’t explain it any more than that.

So how does Dr. Strangelove measure up to that? It is in my Top 10 Favorites. I added two points to it after the first thirty minutes for the fact that I didn’t care about the black and white, or the fact that it was from 1964. When that happens, it is something to be proud of. Kubrick made a masterpiece with this. Let me tell you a little about it.

Dr. Strangelove is a satire making fun of the nuclear scare. In this, the U.S. has their Air Force fighters circling Russia, waiting for the Go code to start bombing their primary and secondary targets. There are about 30-40 ships armed with nuclear/hydrogen bombs weighed at 40 Megatons or so. In the words of the movie, each one is stronger than every single bomb (combined) used during WWII. I laughed at that, by the way.

A Colonel tells his Executive Officer, Group Captain Lionel Mandrake (played by the talented Peter Sellers), who is a Brit from the Officer Exchange Program to initiate Wing Attack Plan R as in Robert. 

Mandrake is also told to confiscate every radio in case a Commie rat may be receiving messages. So, like a good soldier/captain, he sends the necessary three digit number and letters to tell the planes to initiate it. The pilots are naturally skeptical, and seek confirmation. It is soon confirmed. 

The Colonel or Brigadier General is also in charge of the base and tells all of his main to put it under lockdown. “Shoot and then ask questions.”

The Joint Chiefs of Staff are woken and brought into the War Room. President Merkin Muffley tells a General’s men to besiege the command base to get the Colonel on the phone after they find out about his ploy. 

I know. This doesn’t sound like a comedy so far. Merkin Muffley is a balding good man, but he is concerned about his image. General Turgidson disagrees and suggests they put the full force of their military into the attack. Merkin Muffley is also played by Peter Sellers. That’s right. He’s playing TWO characters so far. A great actor, I have to say. If I hadn’t seen and confirmed it several times through Wikipedia, Youtube, and IMDB, I wouldn’t have believed it. 

Arguments soon break out. They bring in the right hand man of the Ambassador of Russia (who is drunk) into the War Room. He tells them of the Doomsday Device which utilizes radiation that could last for 92 years. If Russia is attacked, he says, it will trigger. And it cannot be un-triggered. The President confirms this with Dr. Strangelove, a German scientist who has Nazi sympathies, who is also played by Peter Sellers. The man is like Alex Mercer in Prototype. He can transform into anyone. What I like most about the movie is I can tell you the plot, and it comes off as both very serious in tone, and then very ridiculous after you hear about the Doomsday device.

It’s the dialogue that puts this story at the top. It’s rich, natural, and hilarious. This movie can be serious, and it can be hilarious. Rest assured, though, that everything said most likely has a deeper meaning. If you’re familiar with the politics during those times, you’d probably be laughing the entire movie.

But I’m not familiar with the politics, yet I found myself laughing throughout the movie. That’s amazing. Timeless. The ability of a movie that is over 40 years old to make someone of my age laugh… Is just amazing. I give this movie a 9.9/10. 

Why not 10/10. I’m still in post-Strangelove state, so I may not be in my right mind. I’m going to re-watch this, and then either change the rating to 10/10 or knock it down just one peg. But, it is still a great movie.

The movie is in black and white, I think I’ve said, and it may be timeless for me, but some of you people may find this disturbing. A black and white movie can be alien after watching a CGI heavy movie like… The Avengers, Captain America, or even Dredd.

So, do not go in expecting some groundbreaking graphics. Go in expecting funny dialogue, rich characters, and Peter Sellers playing a Brit, an American, and a German. That, in itself, is funny. 

Yes. That is actually the title. 


Yes, judgement is coming, as well. First of all, a little synopsis is due.

Dredd and the rookie are the main characters. The rookie is named Anderson, but is referred simply as the Rookie throughout most of the movie. She is a mutant psychic. She can read minds, and is the strongest telepath they ever encountered. However, she failed the qualification test by three points, and Dredd is forced by his commanding officer to throw her in the deep end and to see if she’s got what it takes.

In Dredd’s words: “Every place is a deep end.”

He says it in true brooding hero/killer fashion. This is a dystopian future. America is very different, and Judges are literally the LAW. 

They have no need of jumping through legal hoops if they think they’ve got the right perp, technically. The concept is quite awesome. 

What? You want more? Fine. I’m going to tell you a little bit about the current state of this movie. As you can see, the movie is #11 on IMDB. That is, if you are reading this around the same time I am writing it. That’s a great feat. And for awhile, Karl Urban (who plays Dredd) was #6 on IMDB. That’s really something. However, because it was showed exclusively in 3D and is +18, the sales are a real downer. Opening weekend and worldwide tally amounts to 36.6 million. That’s kind of a lot, isn’t it?

Not when the amount of money you spent was 45 million dollars. They didn’t manage to recoup their budget. Yeah. Sad. Unto my thoughts about the movie.

Let’s start with the good. The action is as advertised (if you have seen the trailer or the poster or the summary). It’s riveting, and the pacing of the movie is quite good. The slow motion effect was quite beautiful, and it was handled perfectly by the director. Also, props to the writers for sticking to the comic mythos by making sure Dredd does not remove his helmet. No! Do not do it, man. DON’T. 

The effects are quite astounding. The story is okay. I mean, the concept of the drug is certainly cool, and the idea of keeping the protagonists trapped in a building full of gun toting criminals is rather cool. But, the main villain is… Slightly lacking. The main villain is Momma (played by the talented Lena Headey), and she’s the leader of the Momma Gang. She finds out that Judge Dredd and a rookie went into her building and arrested one of her main men. A guy that could testify against her. So, she puts the building under lockdown, and tells everyone (all 8 million of them. You see, there are Megabuildings that can hold over 8 million people. Yeah. That many.) that they cannot get out ’till the Judges are dead.

Cue action music. What’s lacking about her character, you ask? A cooler backstory. They give you a little backstory on how she’s a real killer and how she’s ruthless, but the thing with backstories given by a criminal informant… They are literally meant to be broken. You see, it’s an old tradition for movie villains to be this feared monster. And the entire time, the hero or heroes keep hearing about their past. But, when the final battle comes around, they find out a lot more that just BLOWS the rumors out of the water and makes it all the more epic. 

It can be construed that the writers meant to stay away from that tradition, but it’s made her rather lackluster. Most of all, it’s mysterious why anyone would follow her. You see. In the olden days, there were female pirates leading entire crews. Yes. Leading vile rapists. 

But, the thing is, the female pirate commands respect, but also gives them leeway to do what they want. Even a strong, burly MALE captain would no doubt be betrayed by his crew if he told them to NEVER EVER loot and to KEEP EVERYONE ALIVE. And this woman does just that. She tells them (when they capture a hostage) not to rape her. Why? Because.. she.. OH! When the other judges find their bodies, they need to be in tact. And this was after she massacred hundreds of the building’s citizens with two freaking machine guns.

When the judges came calling (from outside) they were told it’s a fire. Well. What kind of fire would have bullet ridden citizens and lots of spent shell casings lying all over the place? It’s rather iffy, like I said. Most of all, Momma just does not command respect. It’s bull, you know, that you need to be feared. Being feared is the fastest way you get lynched. 

She treats her soldiers with such disrespect and has no regard for their safety that it’s really unlikely that she’d survived so long. Oh, it can be said that they know they wouldn’t be able to live comfortably had it not been for her. Well, I don’t think they were thinking about that. These guys are drug dealers, and not the smartest folks. Why would they even think about that? No. It’s just wrong. 

This is a slight spoiler, I know, but this was already hinted by many reviewers. So, anyways, when Dredd and the rookie take out a lot of her men and she still can’t capture them, she calls in “911”. Four corrupt judges come in, and in the words of another reviewer,” you get to see why Dredd is so feared.”

And I really don’t get why he was so feared, honestly. The Rookie was much more help. Smarter, too. Okay. Here, get this. Dredd meets one of the other judges. They walk up to each other and start talking. The other Judge says something wrong. I don’t recall what, but Dredd goes:

“But that isn’t right.. WAIT. HOLD ON. Are you perhaps corrupt? It’s cool if you are. Totally. I’m not one of those squares. Yeah, wanna share a bong? No, I don’t HAVE a wire… Per se…”

The conversation didn’t go exactly like that, but he gets his ass thrown around because he was stupid enough to actually go, “You’re a bad guy,” in close quarters. And I just don’t see his supposed “reputation”. He’s a quiet guy, and he treats everyone with a bad attitude… Some reputation, huh? 

I’ll let you watch the other scenes for yourself.

The ending did not make sense, for me. Dredd does something so irresponsible and something that would have literally destroyed everything without a second thought. That did not make sense for me. If you get a “fearsome” reputation for pulling stunts like that, then… I don’t know. I just know that it’s not sensible. At all.

Mistakes aside, the action was truly riveting, and it saddens me that this isn’t doing so well at the Box Office. Flaws aside, I think it should earn slightly more than its budget for all its trouble. This took a lot of work, and it’s not total garbage. If it was, I’d be happy if everyone in the production crew got canned. But no, it was an average movie, yet everyone in the production crew still might get canned.

I give this movie a 5.5/10. It is an average movie. If you’re in the mood for something with killer action, watch it. Just don’t go in expecting it to be the greatest action flick ever. I was told something along those lines, and the 5.5 out of 10 may be because my expectations were rather high. We’ll see.

I hope you give this movie a try. You may end up loving it. I didn’t love it, but hate it? No way. I may still watch it again if I ever want some cool gunfights. Or I may watch Die Hard… Die Hard it is…


Yes. It’s that day. The day all of you weep – whether it be because that you’re so in love with the Prologue that you can’t prevent it or you weep because you cannot fathom how deluded a person can possibly be.

First of all. Again, Merry Christmas to all and a Happy Presents Day to those that don’t celebrate the former. I got some great presents, and I enjoyed giving my family their presents. It was quite a fun night, I gotta say.

Ladies and gentlemen, dragons and zebras, cicadas and wolverines, I present to you my Prologue.



As the pounding on the door grows louder, I know that my life will end today but I am at peace. I can’t help but think of the life I have lived. This life has been filled with so much death. I have brought misery everywhere I walked, he calmly wrote in his book, his penmanship neat and unhurried even though an army of jostling, bloodthirsty men at the other side of the door was about to kill him.

I find that my life does not flash before my eyes.  I guess that only happens right before a knife stabs through my heart, but I’ll know soon enough. My only regret is that they didn’t stop me sooner. No, I do not regret killing hundreds, perhaps, thousands, of people. This duty has been passed unto me, and I guess I am the single most hated man of my people. I have made blunders that shame the very power that has conferred this utterly petrifying gift upon me, he wrote.  He could hear yells for more battering rams outside. Soon…

He sat, surrounded by dozens of corpses, and blood covered every spot on the marble floors. The barricade on the door was near breaking point.  He thought he saw a flash of a face a second ago, but he ignored it for the moment and continued writing.

The irony is not lost on me; they kill me for they fear what I am capable of. The ability to lay waste to an entire race of people lies in my grasp. Why don’t I just kill this puny force of soldiers with my great power? I am tired, and I fear that they are correct about me. I may not be fit to hold this power. I might not be able to restrain myself if I keep using it. They may kill me, but they don’t understand that I will have a successor. My predecessor lived fifty years before me, and he was worshipped as a hero,  as were all the others that had my power. But, I am completely different from them.

I am death.


I cannot change who I am, but I can give these people a gift. To repent for at least some of my sins, I will use my remaining power to transfer all my knowledge to my successor. I will be passed unto his or her consciousness, but I will never let this person cross the line like I did. I will safeguard this person’s abilities. I must make sure that this person – the wielder of my great power, my fearsome gift – will renounce evil, and remain incorruptible.

He finished writing on the last page of the book. His life took up a hundred pages, but it was filled with nothing but death till now. He hid the book in one of the many secret nooks and crannies inside his Keep. There it would lie hidden, until, he wanted it found.

Some day, people would recover his book of death. Maybe then, they might understand why he did what he did.

“Ah, looks like my visitors are finally arriving,” he said, smiling.

The large door split into two, and for a moment, the heavily armored men did not move. Breathing heavily, they stared at the man they came to kill.

“It seems that I finally get to taste your cold embrace, old friend,” he said, referring to his timeless companion throughout his life: death.

He walked toward them, almost lazily, casually side stepping the bodies strewn around, even as the soldiers rushed forward to meet him.

I guess they are happy to see me.

What do you all think? If you’ve any questions about it, feel free to ask. I enjoy being asked questions about my writings because it makes me feel like a bona fide author talking to a bunch of infidels that have the gall to speak to me directly! Oh, kidding. But please, comment. Also, I don’t want to mislead any of you. I don’t actually write like that. No. My family edited it, and replaced everything I wrote with much prettier words. I just don’t want all of you to suddenly think I’m some sort of a masterful wordsmith. I really owe it all to my family, and my eight mistresses.

Sarah, Michelle, Alexandra, Drew, Carrie, Liz, Shona, and Christie – the times we shared helped me get through this book. Also, I’m cheating on all of you. But I really want to thank you all for still not leaving me.

By the way. The beginning is slightly more different than the edited version. You see, I wasn’t lying when I said my family edited it. I changed the first sentence (which was edited) back to the original because I felt it was more natural. Of course, I could just be biased, so I’ll throw in the edited version of the first sentence as well. Please comment and tell me which you think is best. Thank you.

Edited version:

The pounding on the door grows louder. I know that my life will end today but I am at peace. I can’t help but think of the life I have lived

~J.A. Romano


 PS: To anyone that’s wondering how on Earth I could trust perfect strangers with the Prologue of my book, it’s because I have a copyright on it. So, no need to comment and warn me about the dangerous folks hiding amongst the shadows, ey? By the way, I will most likely post the first chapter of my book on New Years Eve. Yeah, I have a habit for going out with a bang. Literally. Once again, comment – even if you hate it. Just comment so I can know to sue you for libel, slander, defamation of-

I’ll stop there. But you get the hint, don’t you?





Oh ho ho!


Not yet.

Yeah. I deceived you.

What’re you going to do about it?

Moving on (bleeding).. I added a new page to my cozy little blog.

Check it out if you’re interested in the people I follow. If you scroll down to the bottom, you’ll see that I mentioned I’m saving the excerpts for Christmas Day as a Christmas present.

Yes. I’ve ruined the surprise. Sorry. But, I’m also going to mention that a short story of mine – Rakhul – will be posted here on my blog. And if you like it, I’ll ask for a 1$ donation so I can give half of the proceeds to a charity in the Philippines, my native country. It’s to buy school supplies for the children, by the way.

Of course, do this if you like my short story. I’d hate for you to be guilted into this.

Anyways. I hope all of you are pumped for it now.

Onto business, the Prologue of my book (The Line of Corruption) will be posted tomorrow. It’s only a page long. In time, I will most likely post the first chapter.

I really hope all of you like it, and if you guys do, then I  hope you’ll comment about it. If you hate it… Then I bet you have a speech impediment…


No idea why that should be an insult in any way, but that’s the only thing that came up. That and a lisp. But speech impediment sounds fancier and cooler, somehow. I think Reagan had a lisp, so that automatically makes you AWESOMETASTIC. And if you’re glad to hear that Reagan has a lisp, then that must mean you are an American fellow. Hello. The fast food counter is next blog over.

Joking! Jeez. Joking, joking. In case any of you take it the wrong way, I’ve an American education, so I’ll probably be in the same line as you guys are. Surprising, isn’t it? So. Even if you hate my excerpts, I really hope all of you tell me why. I know I can’t please everyone, but knowing why some people took it the wrong way will be very helpful. I won’t go and say, “There is no such thing as useless criticism.”

Or, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words may never hurt me.” Because words can still hurt. It’s why cursing isn’t allowed by parents. So, if you break out into insults over my excerpt, then I will be saddened that you hated it that much as to stoop to that level.

However, if you talk calmly about how you thought the character of Random Randomson was bland, or that the character of Honest Truthson was too much of a liar, then please point it out. I’d love to hear about it.

That’s about it, folks. I hope you all have enjoyed my posts thus far. Lord knows I’ve enjoyed ’em. Yeah. I read them.


I also want to say Merry Christmas to everyone. If you don’t celebrate it, then Merry Something Or Another. I hope you have a blast. I’m counting down to Midnight to when I can open the presents and see the face on my mom and sister when they open the stuff I bought ’em. It just goes to show how much of a good person I’ve become in the past year that I actually bought them presents… WITH MY OWN MONEY! Yeah. I’m a regular Father Theresa. Oh, and I’m so humble and modest. It’s really quite brilliant how down to earth my personality is, how saintly and cherubic I become during-

(My computer broke down and said, “I can’t handle the lies anymore!”, so I’ll stop here.)


~J.A. Romano


P.S.: To those of you that are slightly crestfallen at the fact I’m not as insane as I usually am in this post and that I took on a more serious persona while talking about my excerpts, that’s because I want to make sure none of you think I’m joking about ’em. But, never fear, I’ll be my usual crazy self in the next post. And to those of you that are sad because you’ll never see the serious Me again, then.. There’s just no winning with you guys, is there?

There are certain things to consider when you’re a writer. First of all, you don’t actually need to go to college to be one! I know. That’s why I’m a writer. Of course, it’s normally preferred if you got to college as a backup. Let’s see… Stephen King got a teacher’s license and worked as a creative writing teacher before he was published. 

Brandon Sanderson, China Mieville, etc. they all lecture now at colleges. But as such, being a writer isn’t so… Respectable. I mean, you technically live inside your head for most of the day, and you might get a million dollars from it. (If you’re J.K. Rowling.)

So, it’s understandable that people go, “Er… What? You’re a writer? Oh… My Uncle was a writer… He died at 30.”

The last part was a personal experience, don’t worry about it. But, that is generally the reaction. Especially considering being a writer normally means you have no money. That’s why I’m trying to get published while I’m still angel-like in appearance. (FINE. Kidding.)

Why? Well, writing is difficult. Writing for money is even harder. I want to get published so I can make money and pay for my own college. It’s not that I feel like I owe my parents or anything. (I’m not one of THOSE people.)

It’s that I want to, is all. It means I get to go to class and just leave because am paying for the tuition. Though if I’m paying for it, I will milk the sucker for good. I will sleep in a classroom, and never leave. I’ll be the creepy guy at the corner that asks you what grades you have and asks if you cheated. Yeah. That guy.

There is one thing that I wanted to tell you all about writers. One thing we all share. We don’t all share a bathroom, writing program, or even writer’s block. There are some geniuses that don’t suffer from that, and I intend to avoid those writers forever. Hear that, Caleb? Yeah, avoiding you. For good.

But we do share the need and the thirst to be respected. We want to be respectable. Let’s face it. We need the ego boost of being told, “I feel as if you’re handsome by the way you write.”

The example over there happens to me all the time. Don’t believe me? Well, avoiding you too.

I think, for us writers, the best we could do is to write what we think is respectable. It’s very subjective. We shouldn’t write the cleanest piece of literature if you have to force yourself. “Oh, to be respectable, I need to write a clone of Harry Potter.”

No. Writers shouldn’t force themselves to bend to the will of the public before they’ve even started. Write something you like, and if you are still happy when you’re at page 100, then that’s good. If you’re miserable the entire time, then it will show in your writing.

To be truly respectable is to try your hardest at your book, and to never go, “Well, this will never be published, so I’m going to write a rape scene where they massacre the entire population of China and enslave all the white people.”

Don’t do that… Mostly because that’s the plot of my book. GOT IT?


In conclusion, I am rather crazy, and anyone that says otherwise is… Well, thank you. I really appreciate that. 

But it’s doubtful anyone will argue with me on that note. So! I bid you all adieu.


That’s right. French. I’m fancy like that.

Well, I’m re-reading the first five pages of my book over and over again. Why? I’m really just that narcissistic.


Nah, kidding. I hate reading my own work. Since I hate looking at my mistakes. Anyways, I will be sending of the first five pages (plus synopsis) of my book, the Line of Corruption, to a literary agency. That’s right. Yours truly will be taking a leap of faith and will be attempting to get an agent so that he can get a book deal.

There is the logical side of me that considers all the possibilities of failure, but being logical and reasonable doesn’t mean you have to be gloomy about it. I think I have a fair shot, but having a fair chance of “winning” a race doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll win. It just means I won’t be crying in the corner when they don’t reply by tomorrow… Maybe two weeks from now… Or just a week..

Now, if I get rejected… Well, then the crying in the corner thing is probably guaranteed. But, the doors that will be opened if I do get accepted! Man, I am looking forward to this. My book isn’t the prettiest gem in the mine, nor the sharpest tool in the shed, nor the smartest nerd in the class. 

Yet, I am optimistic about results. Once I send off my synopsis and first five pages, it can take a week to a month. So, I’m definitely in for the long run. Then, if they like the first five pages, they’ll ask for a few sample chapters. If they like those, they’ll ask for the entire book.

If they like the entire book, then they’ll sign me up. Very simple, but it’ll play Hell on my nerves. I just really hope they don’t ask for my entire manuscript, and then reject me. Multiply the crying in the corner by five, if so.

Been awhile since I posted, by the way, but for good reason! I’ve been concentrating on writing. What’s your excuse? Oh… This isn’t your blog… But yeah, been working on writing and studying. In a month and a half, I have written 40,764 words. Booyah. That is a lot. For me. 

And it is probably a lot for normal people, unless you’re one of those geniuses that writes 10k a day… In which case, why are you here? Huh? There are blogs for your kind of people! -kicks out-

Now that the lame geniuses and talented people are out of the way, I can continue talking to all… Huh, only one left… Says a lot about you guys, doesn’t it?


Just kidding. Please don’t send any hate mail. Finally, I hope you all wish me luck. It would be great if you guys and gals did, and it’d be pretty cool, at that. No worries, I’ll keep you informed. And no, I will not post a video of me crying after I get rejected. Shame on you! To think you would ask me to do that for free!

The audacity…


Adios, people. And that is the only word I know in Spanish. I’ll round that up and consider myself multilingual, ey?