Worst Haircut Ever

Posted: December 28, 2012 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Today, I’m going to take a small break from lecturing you all on things I’m terribly wrong about. You see, today is a special day. What day is it, you may ask? It is the day I get the worst haircut ever. Incidentally, it was also my fastest haircut ever.

Let me give you some background as to why this is my worst haircut ever. I don’t know how things are in North and South America or Antarctica or Australia or Africa (since those are the only continents I haven’t had a haircut in), but in Europe and Asia, women giving men haircuts leads to disaster. Oh, the feminine touch? More like rabid feline touch, if you ask me. Women know how to handle the rabid feline touch. In fact, it’s a matter of pride if you can withstand the onslaught of a cat attacking your hair with a lawn mower among ’em. Especially if you talk the entire time.

But we men – most of us, at least – have shorter hair than the average woman. So, when a woman cuts our hair – who is used to cutting the hair of her compatriots – it leads to the WORST experience ever. They tug and pull at your hair, expecting fifty cubic meters of it to pop out of your brain. But no. It does not. Unless you’re some government experiment. In which case, what other cool stuff can you do?

This was the fastest haircut I’ve ever had the displeasure of having, as well. I know a lot of you are actually glad about that. Yeah. Faster haircut means I can go watch Tv. But no. You see. Haircuts are supposed to be slow so you don’t get injured or the barber doesn’t end up making mistakes. They’re the right way.

The woman  – who shan’t be named because I do not know it – popped two of my pimples. I’m bleeding right now. Well. No. I bled a bit, but it’s stopped. My fellow gents, get your haircuts by other men. Trust me. You can say, “But I want the touch of a woman,” right now, yet I wonder how you’ll be after getting a haircut from the barber I had to go through.

To the people in North and South America, Africa, Australia, and to the Ewoks and penguins and AT-AT’s in Antarctica, how are your experiences when getting a haircut from women? Seriously. I want to know.



  1. C.Hill says:

    Being from North America, I get my haircuts from women, though I have thin skin around my ears which leads to being easily pricked there. Pretty funny the first time they do it, them freaking out and such.

    • J.A. Romano says:

      It would have been acceptable if she freaked out just a little. But she continued talking with another barber the entire time. She kept asking me something in German, so I just nodded to make everything go faster. In retrospect, she was probably asking, “Do you want me to pull your hair ’till a drop of blood pops out?”

  2. tktrian says:

    Sorry, laughed there. I mean, it’s terrible, but it’s still a little funny, sorry 🙂 but lesson learned, eh? Toni gets his haircuts almost exclusively from ladies and the best was done by an old lady. She really had that skater boi style down. In Finland there aren’t many male barbers anyway, so not much choice there.

    • J.A. Romano says:

      What’s truly sad about this experience is that I remember when we first moved to Sarajevo, and I kept getting haircuts at different places because we didn’t know any good barbershops. And, one of the barbers (male) was always drunk. Or hungover. It took ages for him to finish, but I’d probably have lost an ear if he went any faster. Yet, I consider this experience much worse because she was blabbing in German the entire time to another barber. At least the drunk one had the decency to give my hair his full attention. xD

      • tktrian says:

        Oh, wow, a drunken barber x) I think it’s nicer if the barber doesn’t talk to me. I find it awkward, and I don’t usually have anything in common with them. Haven’t been to a barber in 2,5 years anyway (hence my hair’s to my waist) 😛 oh well, to each their own. -K. Trian

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